Life is busy; we can’t deny that. Sometimes it’s hard to push past the daily struggles to even communicate with our spouse. There are days when I feel like I barely see my husband because we’ve both been on the go. When that happens, I always try to remind him that he’s important to me. Whether it’s a longer hug, extra words of affirmation, or a simple “I miss you”, the small gestures let him know I’m thinking of him.
When we let the excuse of a busy life become a barrier in our marriage, the relationship falters. It’s so easy to give in to the excuses and not put effort toward our husbands or wives because we’re exhausted and overstimulated. Your spouse knows you love them, right? I mean, you married them and you go through the daily motions with them. But that’s not enough! Everything beautiful needs to be nurtured to keep thriving. If we neglect our commitment to the person we chose to spend our lives with, we will fail.
Just like everything else, marriage needs a solid foundation. A marriage formed without God is like a rose planted in sand. You can give it water, sunlight, and artificial nutrients, but when the storm comes, the rose will perish because it didn’t have the right elements to withstand the hardships. God is an essential nutrient in not only our daily lives but our relationships, too. With Him, we can weather any storm.
There are many things we can do with our spouse to grow in Christ. These habits are easy, but the challenging part is making time for them. Once you establish a Godly foundation for your marriage as a priority, you won’t let the obstacle of time stand in your way of nurturing it.
Pray
Prayer is powerful. It’s our direct line of communication with God. God always answers, not always in the way we want or expect. He will challenge us, give us signs, or make us wait, but He will answer.
One of the biggest challenges for couples is being on the same path to Christ. Not every marriage is founded with God, not everyone is a follower or believer. If your spouse doesn’t have a relationship with God, pray for them. Pray God changes you to be a better servant and to be the partner your spouse needs in order to grow closer to God. Pray for your spouse if they do have a relationship with Him and pray that they continue to walk deeper in faith. Ask for guidance, patience, and understanding when things are difficult. Give thanks when things are going great. Pray with your spouse. Prayer keeps the doorway open and lets God into your marriage.
Go to Church Together
Your individual relationships with God will pour into your marriage. The closer you are to Him, the more you will feel Him in your marriage.
The act of going to church is not sufficient. You also have to listen and take in what is being said. I don’t go to church for my husband, and he doesn’t go for me. It’s something we do together to grow our personal relationships with God. We struggled for years getting into the routine of going each Sunday. We’d make excuses and support each other’s reasons for not going rather than supporting the reasons for going. Once we stopped giving in to the excuses, we’ve been more consistent attending service and supportive of each other’s personal growth. And because of that, we’ve seen the positive impact of God in our marriage.
Daily Scripture
Talk to your spouse about the daily devotional or a scripture that resonated with you today. Talk about why you chose to share that scripture with your spouse, how you can apply it to your own life, what you learned from it, what it means to you, and any other thoughts or feelings you have about it. Discussing God’s word with your partner will help you both feel closer to each other and to God. You’ll learn where your partner is at in their journey with God. You’ll be able to give and receive guidance and support to help each other walk deeper in faith, and you’ll be able to apply the teachings to your lives and your marriage.
One important thing to note here: do not use God’s word to fault or shame your partner. Scripture is meant for your own personal growth and relationship with God. It is not here for us to judge others.
Share Your Blessings
It’s easy to get caught up in the mess of our daily lives, so taking a moment to stop and think of all the good things that have happened that day will help you focus on the many blessings God pours onto His children. As a child of God, you are blessed more than you know. Being able to have these moments with your spouse is a blessing in itself. God is so good but sometimes we don’t see it because we’re blinded by life, the life He gave to us. Don’t take the precious gift of life and His love for granted.
Be thankful for every hardship because it makes you stronger. Be thankful for the long red light at the intersection in town because God sees the road ahead you. Be thankful for unanswered prayers because God is protecting you from something. Talking to your spouse about these blessings will open your eyes and your heart to see even more blessings. Once you start finding all the good God has done in your life, you’ll run out of time before you can reach the end of that list.
Talk to Your Pastor
Sometimes we go through life never knowing the true answers to our many questions, and that’s okay because we trust God’s plan. But when we have questions we shouldn’t rely on our own understanding or interpretation of scripture. That can lead us down a rabbit hole where we end up lost. Your pastor is your counselor. He will guide you into understanding and help you if you struggle in your spiritual journey or in your marriage. He can help you with things like trust or forgiveness. Don’t let marital issues grow and develop into bigger problems that become harder to overcome. Tackle your issues as they come. Ask your pastor to pray over your marriage. He is here to help you. If you don’t want to involve your pastor, ask another couple that you both trust to give unbiased, Godly advice.
Life gets the better of us sometimes and we end up putting God on the back burner. Prioritizing our personal walk with Christ and a marriage based on God’s solid foundation is essential. We have to continually put effort into maintaining a strong and healthy relationship with God and our spouse. When you do, your marriage will flourish.